Check it out, I have decided on the new name! Who knows, in about a year and a half I will be graduating and perhaps moving and this new name may be obsolete, but for now, just soak it in.
So, since last we spoke, or rather I spoke and you read, I've had some great adventures. I got to go to Washington DC for Thanksgiving, as I alluded to last time. It was fantastic. I saw the new Martin Luther King Jr. memorial, which is fantastic, but I guess I think that about all of the memorials and monuments down there. I also toured the capitol building. Then it was time to get ready for Thanksgiving. Kyle and Janae (my brother and his wife) were there, as well as Brittany and Dane (my sister and her husband). We held it at the house of Janae's cousin Murissa and her boyfriend Jay. They have a great kitchen to cook in, and a couple of very large TVs to watch football on (the second one came in handy when the ladies in the house decided to turn on a "chick-flick"). I was spared watching that and instead moved seamlessly from the NFL games earlier in the day to college football in the evening. So, in other words it was the perfect location for having Thanksgiving. Also of note at this Thanksgiving I found out I'm going to be an uncle, so, super-stoked about that.
Of course, with all that going on I barely studied at all over the break, which would be fine if we hadn't had tests the following week. The tests started the Wednesday following the break, so needlessly to say there were a few nights earlier in the week of "burning the midnight oil." It all worked out, as I sit writing this I have checked my grades for the semester and all is in order. This means I have one more semester of classes, then I go out on rotations during the last year of the pharmacy school curriculum. In some ways I'm really looking forward to that. I think hands-on is the best way I learn, so that'll be really exciting to get some more experience in settings where I might actually work after school is over. In others I'm a little nervous. It will definitely be a test of how much (or how little) I've retained from all the classes we've taken. I feel like I've come a long way, usually working at CVS these days, I at least know what illnesses the drugs we dispense are probably being used to treat. And usually I can think of the brand name-generic name combinations...so that's a start. On the other hand, people will ask me questions from subjects I've definitely learned about, and I will freeze and not be certain that I know the right answer. All part of the process I suppose.
Anyway, I'm on a much needed one month break which will include trips to Utah and Arizona. And as for right now, I think breakfast followed by some video games are in order. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
New blog title.
So, first things first, it's been forever since I wrote on here. Funny how 3rd year of pharmacy school will do that to you. Well, that plus with all the relationship drama that transpired for me around this time last year, everything since then has seemed sort of...tame. Not much material for the ol' blogeroo if you get my meaning. Speaking of that, I'm super excited for a holiday season to transpire without someone telling me they are leaving me (for someone else even if it wasn't made abundantly clear at first). Turns out holiday breaks are even more exciting without a psycho ex to think about...who knew, right?! Side note, any relatives of said ex, I apologize, BUT, my blog, my thoughts and feelings, my honesty in print.
Moving on quickly from that, in the blog as in real life, lets discuss what's been going on. Well, for starters I've been super busy with school, hence the absence of any blogging whatsoever. It is crazy to think that this time next year I'll be cruising right on through rotations and starting to think about going to work for realsies! This semester we've had a statistics class where we read primary literature about drug research. Then we look at the statistical analysis of each paper. You are probably reading this and thinking, "yuck! that sounds horrible!". Maybe it's me being sick and twisted, but it's probably just my analytical mind at work, I've actually sort of enjoyed that class while most of my peers cannot wait to be rid of it. All this brings me to my next point. There are pharmacists that work for hospitals called drug information pharmacists, and that is what they do, read the primary literature about treatment options, analyze the information, and pass it along to everybody else. I'm starting to think that might be a great way to find a niche in the profession, especially if our class is indicative of pharmacists as a whole. If most of them hate statistics, and I like statistics...boom! Opportunity knocking!
As mentioned I'm incredibly excited for the holidays this year. Tomorrow at the crack of dawn I'll be on the road headed for Washington D.C. to spend the week with my brother Kyle, my sister Brittany, and their spouses. I went out there for Thanksgiving 2 years ago and had a blast! So needless to say I'm looking for somewhat of a repeat, perhaps with some variation in the sightseeing I do. After that it's study like it's going out of style for a round of "clusters" then finals a couple weeks later. It seems really cruel, but hey, at least they can't cram a bunch of new material onto the final...right?...there is a bright side to this isn't there??? Oh well, even if not it's only a couple of weeks. Then it's Christmas break for one glorious month! Stops will be made in Leavenworth, KS(right by Kansas City and home of the most amazing BBQ ribs I've ever eatten); Provo, UT(fingers crossed there's some fresh powder to be shredded while there); and Mesa, AZ (for some quality cousin time, and to indoctrinate the newest additions to the family on who the best sort-of uncle is). I say sort of because I don't know what relation I technically am to one of my cousin's children...but that's a minor detail, the main point is to hammer home that Gary is the coolest uncle no matter what the genealogical tree says!
So that's the news from me at the moment. No, the blog didn't go silent because I died and turned into a zombie...though some days I feel like a zombie after too many classes and not enough sleep. No, I didn't start a side business using the slightly less legal drugs out there and then get forced to work for a cartel somewhere in South America. No, I didn't drop out of school and forsake technology to embrace a life of goat herding on the Serengeti. Nothing exciting, sorry. I was just occupied. I know, such a "blah" reason, but it is what it is.
Oh also, as the title of this post suggests, I'm currently stewing over a possible change to the title of the blog...any ideas from...actually, first of all, did anyone actually read this far? Okay, if you did, and you have a great idea for my blog name change, leave a comment and tell me what it should be. If you come up with something I end up using you will win my undying gratitude and I will forever be in awe of your creativity. Pretty stinking awesome prize, eh?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
"All you need is love."
So, it's been a while, blogosphere. Hi, I'm Gary, in case you forgot. So, I've been wondering what to write about for a while. I'm of a firm belief that you don't choose the blog post, the blog post chooses you. For those of you unfamiliar with that logic, it's kinda like the logic with which Mormon missionaries select ties, or at least the way we did in my mission. Just let it hit you, then go for it. So, it hit me recently what I wanted to blog. It seemed a little strange, but here I am going for it.
I want to talk about a certain little four letter word...no not one of those. Come on! The word is love. Now, I know what you're probably thinking...how is Gary qualified to blog about love? Don't worry, I wonder the same thing, and I'm probably not all that qualified, which is part of what will make my take on the whole thing all the more interesting. I also realize I'm a little bit late for Valentines, but give me a break, I was planning my birthday that comes 2 days after that.
So just to catch you up on the last little while in my life...back in September a girl that I dated, and who broke my heart once, decided it was a mistake and moved to Indiana to be near me. Secretly, I got really excited for her to come, hoping things would be re-kindled. She came, and soon thereafter we were dating again. If you had asked me at that point if I knew what love was, I would have foolishly answered you, Yes! Of Course! You see, I felt like I loved her at that point in time. In my mind the natural next step was engagement and marriage, since I felt like I knew what love was, and I felt that I had found it.
As often happens in life, the story took a different turn than the one I was expecting. You see, she didn't want to get engaged, she didn't want to get married. As much as I thought I was in love is as much as she was uncertain about the whole thing. Within a week or two, we went from planning to spend the holidays together to nothing, no relationship, no plans, no future together. It was so very painful, to have my heart broken a second time felt so horrible. I was still certain I had been in love. Otherwise how could it have been so very painful?
As is so often the case in life, with time comes added perspective. I realized that I had not shown her just how much I cared while I had the chance. I realized that perhaps some of my actions, or rather, lack thereof, betrayed the words that I had been saying and the thoughts that I had been having. For any idea to take root, thoughts alone are not enough, thoughts and words come closer, but only thoughts and words coupled together with action truly allow an idea to take shape and become something more than a passing fancy. My thoughts and words of love were not paired with the necessary actions. And that caused the words and the thoughts to lose their potency after a while.
It's been about 4 months since the end of our relationship. And here is the part that is ironic to me, and probably not all that surprising to some older and wiser than myself. I have learned more about love in the past 4 months than I ever imagined was there in that simple word even during the happiest moments of my time together with her. When we were together, it made me happy because of what the relationship did for me in my life. I thought that was love. Someone that made you happy to be around, to talk to, or to spend time with. Silly me. To truly love someone is to care about their well-being above any of your own wants or needs.
I have realized that when you love someone, truly and deeply love someone, you act out of concern for their well-being and their happiness without so much as a thought for what the consequences for you may be. Now, the realization only took one epic breakup and months of fighting off selfish emotions and bitterness and pain. That was the easy part. It's the putting into practice that can be a bit tricky. It is, no doubt, a work in progress for me. I've gone from barely being able to speak to the girl I once thought I loved, to being willing to do anything for her...even if now that means doing nothing at all sometimes. On the surface I realize that might sound like it would be horrible. To love someone more than before and to not gain anything out of it. But it's just not true. You'll have to trust me on that. On the contrary, I feel like this is the best I've felt in forever. I have gained something out of it. I have seen my capacity to love others increase exponentially and that has set me free from the pain, the jealousy, the bitterness, and any other ill feelings that arose in the past.
This all may sound convoluted and crazy. It probably is. It makes sense in my head, and the hardest transition when writing, for me, it to go from head to paper...or computer screen as the case may be. And those are my thoughts on love.
I want to talk about a certain little four letter word...no not one of those. Come on! The word is love. Now, I know what you're probably thinking...how is Gary qualified to blog about love? Don't worry, I wonder the same thing, and I'm probably not all that qualified, which is part of what will make my take on the whole thing all the more interesting. I also realize I'm a little bit late for Valentines, but give me a break, I was planning my birthday that comes 2 days after that.
So just to catch you up on the last little while in my life...back in September a girl that I dated, and who broke my heart once, decided it was a mistake and moved to Indiana to be near me. Secretly, I got really excited for her to come, hoping things would be re-kindled. She came, and soon thereafter we were dating again. If you had asked me at that point if I knew what love was, I would have foolishly answered you, Yes! Of Course! You see, I felt like I loved her at that point in time. In my mind the natural next step was engagement and marriage, since I felt like I knew what love was, and I felt that I had found it.
As often happens in life, the story took a different turn than the one I was expecting. You see, she didn't want to get engaged, she didn't want to get married. As much as I thought I was in love is as much as she was uncertain about the whole thing. Within a week or two, we went from planning to spend the holidays together to nothing, no relationship, no plans, no future together. It was so very painful, to have my heart broken a second time felt so horrible. I was still certain I had been in love. Otherwise how could it have been so very painful?
As is so often the case in life, with time comes added perspective. I realized that I had not shown her just how much I cared while I had the chance. I realized that perhaps some of my actions, or rather, lack thereof, betrayed the words that I had been saying and the thoughts that I had been having. For any idea to take root, thoughts alone are not enough, thoughts and words come closer, but only thoughts and words coupled together with action truly allow an idea to take shape and become something more than a passing fancy. My thoughts and words of love were not paired with the necessary actions. And that caused the words and the thoughts to lose their potency after a while.
It's been about 4 months since the end of our relationship. And here is the part that is ironic to me, and probably not all that surprising to some older and wiser than myself. I have learned more about love in the past 4 months than I ever imagined was there in that simple word even during the happiest moments of my time together with her. When we were together, it made me happy because of what the relationship did for me in my life. I thought that was love. Someone that made you happy to be around, to talk to, or to spend time with. Silly me. To truly love someone is to care about their well-being above any of your own wants or needs.
I have realized that when you love someone, truly and deeply love someone, you act out of concern for their well-being and their happiness without so much as a thought for what the consequences for you may be. Now, the realization only took one epic breakup and months of fighting off selfish emotions and bitterness and pain. That was the easy part. It's the putting into practice that can be a bit tricky. It is, no doubt, a work in progress for me. I've gone from barely being able to speak to the girl I once thought I loved, to being willing to do anything for her...even if now that means doing nothing at all sometimes. On the surface I realize that might sound like it would be horrible. To love someone more than before and to not gain anything out of it. But it's just not true. You'll have to trust me on that. On the contrary, I feel like this is the best I've felt in forever. I have gained something out of it. I have seen my capacity to love others increase exponentially and that has set me free from the pain, the jealousy, the bitterness, and any other ill feelings that arose in the past.
This all may sound convoluted and crazy. It probably is. It makes sense in my head, and the hardest transition when writing, for me, it to go from head to paper...or computer screen as the case may be. And those are my thoughts on love.
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